De cómo Dios creó al mundo y al hombre

11 08 2007

¿Sabíais que Dios durante esos 6 días de duro trabajo creó a la tierra, el hombre y todo lo demás mediante la consola? Así fue…

In the beginning there was the Computer.
Loading Universe Kernel....
And God said
# LET THERE BE LIGHT!
login: GOD
password: OMNISCIENT
Password incorrect. Try again.
password: OMNIPOTENT
Password incorrect. Try again.
password: TECHNOCRAT
And God logged on at 00:00:01, day 1.
# LET THERE BE LIGHT!
Unrecognisable command. Try again.
# CREATE LIGHT
Done
# RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
And God created Day and Night. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:01:00, day 1.

And God logged on at 00:00:01, day 2.
# LET THERE BE FIRMAMENT IN THE MIDST OF WATER AND LIGHT
Unrecognisable command. Try again..
# CREATE FIRMAMENT
Done.
# RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:02:00, day 2.

And God logged on at 00:00:01, day 3.
# LET THE WATERS UNDER HEAVEN BE GATHERED TOGETHER UNTO ONE PLACE AND LET THE DRY LAND APPEAR
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
# CREATE DRY_LAND
Done.
# RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
# LET THE EARTH PRODUCE FRESH GROWTH, LET THERE BE ON THE EARTH PLANTS
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
# CREATE PLANTS
# RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
So it was; the Earth yielded fresh growth, plants bearing seed. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:02:00, day 3.

And God logged on at 00:00:01, day 4.
# CREATE LIGHTS IN THE FIRMAMENT TO DIVIDE THE DAY FROM THE NIGHT
Unspecified type. Try again.
# CREATE SUN_MOON_STARS
Done
# RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
These lights governed day and night and separated light from darkness. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:02:00, day 4.

And God logged on at 00:00:01, day 5.
# CREATE FISH
Done
# CREATE FOWL
Done
# RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every inged fowl after its kind. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:02:00, day 5.

And God logged on at 00:00:01, day 6.
# CREATE CATTLE
Done
# CREATE CREEPY_THINGS
Done
# RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
# NOW LET US MAKE MAN IN OUR IMAGE
Unspecified type. Try again.
# CREATE MAN
Done
# BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY AND REPLENISH THE EARTH AND SUBDUE IT AND HAVE DOMINION OVER THE FISH OF THE SEA AND OVER THE FOWL OF THE AIR AND OVER EVERY LIVING THING THAT CREEPETH UPON THE EARTH
Too many command operands. Try again.
# RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
# INSERT BREATH
Done
# RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
# MOVE MAN TO GARDEN OF EDEN
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
# CREATE GARDEN.EDN
Done
# MOVE MAN TO GARDEN.EDN
Done
# RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
# COPY WOMAN FROM MAN
Done
# RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 3 errors.
# CREATE DESIRE
Done
# RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
# CREATE FREEWILL
Done
# RUN FREEWILL
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit set. 1 errors.
# UNDO DESIRE
Desire cannot be undone. File may be in use by Freewill.
# DELETE FREEWILL
Freewill cannot be deleted. it may be a hidden or system file or may be in use.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
# HELP
Desire cannot be undone. File may be in use by Freewill.
Freewill cannot be deleted. it may be a hidden or system file or may be in use.
Try again, cancel or quit program.
Try again
Try again, cancel or quit program.
cancel
Try again, cancel or quit program.
quit
Try again, cancel or quit program.
# CREATE TREE_OF_KNOWLEDGE
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit set. 1 errors.
# CREATE GOOD, EVIL
Done
# ACTIVATE EVIL
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error. Missing or corrupt file: Man and Woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
# SCAN GARDEN.EDN FOR MAN, WOMAN
Search failed.
# DELETE SHAME
Shame cannot be deleted. File may be in use by Freewill.
# DELETE FREEWILL
Freewill cannot be deleted. it may be a hidden or system file or may be in use.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
# STOP
Unrecognizable command. Try again
# BREAK
# BREAK
# BREAK
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR MAINTENANCE IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
# CREATE NEW WORLD
You have exceeded your allocated file space.
You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
# DESTROY EARTH
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN.
SERVICES WILL RESUME day 8 AT 00:00:00
YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 23:59:59, day 6.

And God rested

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23 responses

11 08 2007
Hijo del Opio

Por eso siempre hay que leerse bien el manual del sistema operativo del universo antes de hacer cualquier cosa XD

11 08 2007
mamarrachi

vaya, y yo que pense que eso de la consola era invento del diablo… ya sabia yo que el vicio de la play llegaba hasta el cielo…

11 08 2007
amarok37

Además añadiría a la Consola de la Creación el The Songs of Distant Earth de Oldfield :-)

11 08 2007
ainaya

yo no puedo entender como alguien humano puede ponerse a tipear eso. tal vez soy un mongo y eso lo tipea la maquina cuando le ingresas un comando especial como por ejemplo “haceme un post muy copado para el blog” o “como habrias hecho al mundo, mac?”
saludos

Chibuki de La Palma

12 08 2007
muric

Luego Dios volverá y hará >clean xD.

Muy bueno (freewill… lol ).

12 08 2007
mazingerz

Muy bueno jejeje, te imaginas a dios tirandose de los pelos y cagandose en si mismo XD

12 08 2007
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[...] De cómo Dios creó al mundo y al hombre ¿Sabíais que Dios durante esos 6 días de duro trabajo creó a la tierra, el hombre y todo lo demás mediante la […] [...]

12 08 2007
Maharba Z

Parece que Frewill le dió mucha lata jeje.

Pero como por ahí dijeron volverá a prender su PC para hacer >clean con el comando FIRE jeje.

Ilustrativo, más bien no tuvo nada que ahcer el que lo hizo :lol:

12 08 2007
Kaiser Soseg

jejeje,q cachondo, lo q mas me mola es lo de “and god rested”, en español seria algo como “y dios empezo a rascarse las pelotas”.

12 08 2007
Juany

Excelente. Muy creativo. Felicitaciones.

12 08 2007
Fargok

jajajaja!!

Chingón!!!
xD

13 08 2007
Sikel

Ahhhh
Pero Dios existe?
Pero ese señor no estaba al lado de los ricos?
Por eso creo que lo que inventó fue el guindou, por eso está tan mal hecho.

Los humanos, como bien dice Ubuntu, ´hacen cosas para los seres humanos, aunque ellos no lo crean.

Pd.: Ná, es por hacer de abogado del “Diablo”

20 12 2011
elianny

dios si existe sino quien fue kcreo al mundo anosotros adan eva si keres tonto jjajjaja es elknos auda lavilgensita de guadalupe ruega por nosotros lopecadores

14 08 2007
rolomonio

XD jajajajajaja me que wenu que Dios creo todo en linux si hubiese echo en Dos de seguro le hubiera salido un error en el checksum :D jajajajaja de seguro un scandisck al world o un format jajajajajaja:D

17 08 2007
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